YOU learn how to park

I received a note on my windshield yesterday in red girly handwriting that went like this:

"You HIT my car - THANK YOU! Learn how to park!"

It took me a second to realize this was not penned by a pranking coworker of mine, and that there was an angry, passive aggressive tenant of the 8th floor parking garage that actually thought I hit her car. Let me tell you what's wrong with this:

1. I did not hit anyone's car.
2. If I did jack up your car, do you think I would still be parked next to it? What kind of idiot do you take me for? If I hit your car I would have reversed that puppy as fast as I could and parked on a different floor (after leaving a note with my information, of course).
3. Ma'am (and I know it's a girl because of the handwriting and the "snap-in-a-Z-formation" attitude) if you were really so bothered by this, why wouldn't you identify yourself? Leave a name, number, license plate, hair color - something that would point me in the right direction to start the process of getting each other's information, exchanging insurance, etc. This intentional lack of identification shows me that a) you are a yellow bellied coward and b) you are not 100% positive that it was I who hit your car. In fact you probably just had a crappy day, saw a dent in your '98 Ford Taurus and decided to take it out in a non-confrontational note.
4. Bitch, YOU learn how to drive. You probably hit MY car.

Anyway, I've gotten it out and I'm over it. For a while I thought about printing out about 100 copies of something of this nature and leaving it on every windshield on the 8th floor, but seeing as that would not only go against my "green" nature, it might also ruin someone else's day, I decided against it.

Well, I'm off for the weekend! I'll be getting in my car in a few moments - hopefully no notes this time...

πολλή αγάπη

Rosemary

By Request

Until I can tackle Wendy's karaoke request list below y'all will have to settle for little miss Miley Cyrus's new hit "Party in the USA" and JoDee Massina's oldie but goodie "Heads Carolina Tails California". (video credit Air Mattress Living)






As for knockng requests off Wendy's list, I imagine that will start this Thanksgiving Break. Yep that's right, I get a Thanksgiving break. Don't be jelous, but just like back in school when we all loaded our cars up and drove home for Thanksgiving Break, I get to pack my bags and board a plane for Houston!!! Christian's Tailgate anyone?

xoxo
Babs

Introduction

And hello to you!

My name is Rosemary, and I am the newest contributing member of the infamous Two Coast Tales Blog! Wendy and Babs are some of my closest friends and I enjoy nothing more than wasting time at working scanning the recent blog posts from the two of them. First of all, if we are going to be spending time together, I think you should know a little bit about me:

I was born on the black sand beach in Santorini, Greece in an era where it was acceptable to send your baby out to sea if they did not have a full head of hair (a sign of prosperity in Greece). Which is exactly what happened to me. I was born after a mere 3 minutes of labor (I was the 14th child), and came out as bald as George Castanza. My crafty father had preemptively assembled a small wooden raft (just in case), and used it to send me out to the Aegean, and wished me the best. Luckily, I was intercepted by a cripple down the beach named Ernie, who became Uncle Ernie to me in the following years. Turns out, Ernie was used to this infant send-off practice and had planted himself in accordance with the tides to save the hairless babes. He had acquired quite a few children this way, so I grew up in a household of 7. He named me Rosemary after his favorite herb. I quickly became friends with one of my “sisters” who actually looked strangely identical to me. Her name is Greta and to this day people confuse the two of us because we look so much alike. In fact, I even confuse the two of us and have started answering to both names. Anyway, I had a pretty normal life growing up; skinning cats, picking the lice out of my siblings’ hair, pretending to be a cross eyed homeless kid to pick up a few extra bucks before the weekend – life was great. Around age 20 I came to America a la James Frey: woke up on a plane with no recollection of how I got there, bruised and battered, and smelling like booze. I got off the plane, saw the Texas sign and thought “Heck, why not?” so decided to stick around. Luckily I’ve met such great people (Wendy, Babs, etc.) and made a nice little life for myself here. TCT is just another way to keep in touch with the people who have made me who I am today.

Thanks for letting me be a part of it! Opa!

Πολλή αγάπη,

Rosemary

Some Songs I'd Like To See Barbara Karaoke To

• "Christmas Canon Rock" by Trans-Siberian Orchestra
• "With Arms Wide Open" by Creed
• "My Way" by Frank Sinatra
• "Objects in the Rear View Mirror May Appear Closer Than They Are" by Meat Loaf
• "Cat's in the Cradle" by Harry Chapin
• "Just a Friend" by Biz Markie
• "Do They Know Its Christmas" circa the Live Aid London Concert, 1985
• The theme song from Night Court

Smell that?

It's Rosemary......

Wendy's excuses have run their course.

While her house was hit with lightening over two weeks ago, she has yet to post a blog in ___ weeks. Lightening striking a house and frying the Internet is a valid reason not to post, and then not wanting to post at work, valid as well. However, we are not living in 1994 where a dial up connection and AOL is necessary to get stuff out on the web. This is 2009, over 15 years have passed since a screen name and a phone line were needed to get online. Now we don’t even have to have cords; you can go wireless! For those of us stuck in 1994 that means borrow some Internet from your neighbors, or park your car outside a Starbucks and power up the labtop. How about even spending a nice relaxing evening with your boyfriend while he cooks and you blog away? That sounds like a wonderful plan.

"Hey babe, lets cook dinner tonight…yea you do the cooking and I’ll drink the
wine and type away, remember my Internet is broken? Thanks hun!"

Wendy being the sly fox that she is could easily come up with some tricky scheme like that, and probably pull it off even better. Remember when we tried to Free Freddie? Well, this is a way easier scheme with guaranteed positive results. You not only get an awesome dinner cooked by your one and only but also some time and free Internet to post away. Ohhhh the possibilities. .
But that’s ok, I can take a hint…I’ll just keep updating about my life and remain in the dark about my dear friend Wendy’s life back in Texas. Sad day.

Tear.
Babs

Sin City Bound

Tomorrow after work I am departing for Sin City. Hopefully Sunday night I will have the energy to write about all the crazy things I do this weekend, but if not just use your imagination. Don't think too long and hard about it though, I'm not THAT crazy. But I am considering this trip as research for Erin's Bachelorette party in January that I am in the works of planning. So this weekend will be my "site visit". Erin, that means I will be scouting out all the hot new restaurants and clubs to insure an INSANELY good time in January. So get excited!

In turn I will be billing this trip back to all the bachelorettes that will be attending in January. So don't be alarmed at the small upcharge you will see on your bill. So thank you to all and get ready for a smashing good time!!!

xoxo
Babs