YOU learn how to park

I received a note on my windshield yesterday in red girly handwriting that went like this:

"You HIT my car - THANK YOU! Learn how to park!"

It took me a second to realize this was not penned by a pranking coworker of mine, and that there was an angry, passive aggressive tenant of the 8th floor parking garage that actually thought I hit her car. Let me tell you what's wrong with this:

1. I did not hit anyone's car.
2. If I did jack up your car, do you think I would still be parked next to it? What kind of idiot do you take me for? If I hit your car I would have reversed that puppy as fast as I could and parked on a different floor (after leaving a note with my information, of course).
3. Ma'am (and I know it's a girl because of the handwriting and the "snap-in-a-Z-formation" attitude) if you were really so bothered by this, why wouldn't you identify yourself? Leave a name, number, license plate, hair color - something that would point me in the right direction to start the process of getting each other's information, exchanging insurance, etc. This intentional lack of identification shows me that a) you are a yellow bellied coward and b) you are not 100% positive that it was I who hit your car. In fact you probably just had a crappy day, saw a dent in your '98 Ford Taurus and decided to take it out in a non-confrontational note.
4. Bitch, YOU learn how to drive. You probably hit MY car.

Anyway, I've gotten it out and I'm over it. For a while I thought about printing out about 100 copies of something of this nature and leaving it on every windshield on the 8th floor, but seeing as that would not only go against my "green" nature, it might also ruin someone else's day, I decided against it.

Well, I'm off for the weekend! I'll be getting in my car in a few moments - hopefully no notes this time...

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Rosemary