The Return of the Fanny-Pack:
Are We, As a Society, Ready For It?
While I didn’t make it out to LA this weekend, I did make it almost half way to Vegas via Southwest Airlines. Now the three hour flight is nothing in comparison to the twenty hour drive, but a little boredom did begin to set in. And what does any smart person do when bored on a plane? Pull out a SkyMall and start looking for wedding gifts (get ready Winnie & Ben)!
As I was looking through this gem of a magazine, my eye was struck by the sort of revolution of the fanny pack that SkyMall is trying to promote.
Original Fanny Packs (OFPs)
SkyMall advertises this lovely vest as having 22 hidden no-bulge pockets and features the patented Personal Area Network (PAN) licensed from Technology Enabled Clothing (TEC.) Now I am sorry but the OFP did not offer more than a front zipper and a hidden back zipper that was worn close to your belt. This travel vest offers PAN and TEC? WTF are those?
Oh and just wait, the women’s version advertises a Weight Management System (WMS). Now explain to me how a 22 pocketed vest can control your weight? Can it do anything but make you appear bigger?
SkyMall has also come up with the Original Purse Organizer with seven pockets so you never have to search for your keys again! This to me just seems like another shot at making the fanny pack popular. Occasionally women would sport two fanny packs back in the day (you know, one in the front, one in the back) then how are they going to fit all their belongings neatly organized in just seven pockets? SHEESH! Most purses come with at least four pockets, how is this much better?
Let’s face it peeps, anything beyond a woman’s purse, a man’s wallet, and maybe a couple extra jacket pockets is just not going to make it. The fanny pack is not coming back! Not even any of those designer ones! I vote we leave it in the past and move on.