Happiness on Hump Day!

Happy Hump Day to all! I hope everyone is having a great mid week day in whatever time zone you may be in. I am happy to say that my hump day rolled in this week coming off of a very successful Tuesday. My work day was fine but it was how my day concluded that was so bomb.com.

My work day ended as Roxie picked me up at work. We had plans to go grab a bite with my cousin before the Old Crow Medicine Show concert. We parked on Hollywood, which was a mad house because the movie Whip It starring Drew Barrymore (as Smashley Simpson mind you - maybe worth going to see just to see her characterization of Ashley as Smashley) was premiering at the Kodak Theater. The people were gathered in masses snapping pictures yelling "Drew Drew, over here" (no joke this all happened) as Rox and I pushed through. I was in need of a Blue Moon and what better place than the Pig'n Whistle, the home of Judy Garland's 15th birthday party. As we passed the fans, and "lucky" bystanders outside the Kodak Theater, we proceeded to walk through a film set up for a totally different project. Roxie and I couldn't tell what it was for and we went on our business as I really wanted my Blue Moon.

My cousin got there a bit later than we did and upon her arrival announced that they were filming Melrose Place next door. To this I shrieked in excitement "REALLY?!" So exciting right?! So we finished our meal and beers and had to back-track a bit to get to the Ford Theater for the concert (aka walk by the filming of MP). So...it was WAAAAAY cooler than I had even imagined, over the past 30 mins at dinner that is. They had blocked the sidewalk off and as we attempted to pass by in the street they pulled us back on the sidewalk and asked us to wait. After the director yelled "CUT" they lifted the tape up and we literally got to walk through the scene. I was about 4 inches away from Katie Cassidy (aka Ella Simms). She was tall and all decked out in her sequin dress yelling at some guy getting into a limo (in the scene that is). As we passed by her the set crew was coming to put a robe on her (so they really do that!), and that was about it.

We continued our walk to the Ford, and ended up walking up the 101 freeway, yes Houstonians this would be equivalent to walking on the side of I-10, not cool. We ended up making it to the theater alive just in time for a little honky tonk restaurant Old Crow Medicine Show. The venue was awesome and the show was good. The dancing crowds-men were ridiculous to watch and the smell of BO was rampid. All in all a great show and I would definitely go again!

And then, here we are, to happy hump day, rounding out at a little after mid-day for me. I am really looking forward to my baking class tonight at Kiss My Bundt Bakery. In a quest to one day own my own bakery, with the perfect name mind you, I must research along the way and what better way than a baking cooking class? ...and the tickets were on sale. How perfect right?!?

So I hope all is well with my fellow readers, read on, forward on, and follow on! Lets amp this blog up! Wendy....you game? Or are you to busy celebrating Hump Day????

xoxo
Babs

Bike's Galore

Ok readers, stay tuned. Tonight I am heading to the Chubby's Cruisers to pick out a bike so the final decision will be made in less than an hour. Just to add a little suspense I did find another pink bike that I am pretty much in love with. To give you a hint it is similar to what you get for selling oodles of mary kay, so we will see if it proves to be the one.

On a side note here are a list of the celebrities I have seen since moving here. I will add to it as I live on.
1. Noah aka Vincent Young from the original 90210 - not the Quarterback at the Belmont.
2. Eggs aka Mehcad Brooks from True Blood walking in The Grove
3. Justin Walker aka Dave Annable from Brothers and Sisters at Coco de Ville
4. Kevin Walker aka Matthew Rhys from Brothers and Sisters* at Coco de Ville
5. Kelly Osborne at Teddy's
6. Ella Simms aka Katie Cassidy from Melrose Place filming outside a restaurant I was eating at. I got to walk right through the set too! It was pretty cool!
7. Keifer Sutherland aka Jack Bauer (walking to his car outside my building. He smiled at me and gave me a "hey what's up hottie" head knod. yep that's right...to bad he is a drunky drunk).
8. Eric von Detten (EVD) at The Penthouse at The Huntly, he ate dinner with me and his "friends" and he was a total DUD.

*He is from Wales, did you know? Wendy, I asked if he knew Tom Duffy but he didn't so then I accused him of pretending to be from Wales. I also used they, "hey what is your name, I think I know you" speel. I am sure he hasn't ever heard that one before?!? Disclaimer: This was on the night of my birthday, so I am not exactly sure he appreciated it but I found it amusing and am claiming immunity.

Drum Roll Please.....Here's my new bike!

This is the first picture of her from Friday, parked out side my Yoga class. How LA of me right?! Ride my bike to Yoga class...so hip to the hop. I also spent all day Sunday cruising around on her (name to be decided shortly, and yes I am taking suggestions). I rode her to the Abbot Kinney street festival with a couple of veteran bike owners Lauren & Taylor. They showed me the streets, taught me how to lock it up securely, and maybe taught me the most important thing of all...how useful a bell can be! So next stop Chubby's to pick out a bell. Stay tuned. Ding Ding.

What's Happening Here? A Series of WTFs

Smello. Remember me? Sorry I’ve been silent so long, dear readers (all 3 of you) – I got a BatSignal that a pack of wild, ravenous West-Coast coyotes (pronounced “KAI-YOATS”) was harassing my fair co-blogger Barbara, so I had to head out there and see what all the fuss was about.

It wasn’t pretty, but no one F’s with my Babs and gets away with it. On to the blog!

I don’t know if it’s the weather, the times that are a-changin’, or the fact I sit in a silent office all day so that any time anything remotely interesting happens to me I absolutely flip my lid, but I have really been noticing some strange occurrences “out there” recently. I’ll list.

1.) Fee Fi Fo Hogan

Brooke Hogan is huge. There, I said it. I know, I know “but everyone is beautiful in their own waaaay!” That’s all good and well but ohsweetChrist, HOW TALL IS THAT GIRL??? I nonchalantly tuned into Brooke Knows Best the other day and my jaw literally dropped when I saw her pose next to a group of friends for a photograph. It was like Andre the Giant taking a publicity shot with that family from Little People Big World. (Sidenote: I used to work for a government-entity-type-of-place and at one of our events we got to take pictures with Yao Ming, #11 for the Houston Rockets. Naturally, I stuck my picture next to my computer, the better to admire its circus-sideshow resemblance, until one day our CEO, who could only be described as a hybrid between Mr. Rogers and George-W.-Bush-on-acid, admired it for a bit too long and declared "Whew, that’s one tall Chinaman!" I honestly waited for him to pull his eyes to the outside of his head, a la Miley Cyrus' offensive pictures, but it was a no-go. HA-RUMPH.) I kid you not, B.Hoges nearly knelt to the ground to blend in with everyone else’s height. You know what I’m talking about – we’ve all seen a tall person do this at some point or another while taking a photo because they feel gargantuan compared to the pipsqueaks next to them and they think if they squat down, the rest of us will be none the wiser. To which I say Nonsense - if the can of vegetables from Wet Hot American Summer taught me anything at all, it’s that you should Be Proud Of Who You Are. So you're tall! No biggie! (Pun intended?) Let the rest of us dwarfs marvel at you for a bit, experience a tinge of jealousy after the realization your legs are twice as long as ours, and then let's all move on.

I truly have no beef with Brooke Hogan (at 5’4’’, I would be a fool to) and from the 30-minute, VH1-edited version of her we’re treated to once a week, she seems like an okay gal. But what is that title? "Brooke Knows Best" - knows what best, exactly? Hair bleach? Hollister mini-skirts? Weight-lifting? By leaving the title ambiguous, VH1 producers, you seem to assume Brooke Knows Everything Best, of which I assure you she does not. So what's the purpose of giving her her own show? Yeah, sure, sometimes Hulk Hogan shows up with his misfit meat-head friends during the kids’ spring break trip to rip off his sleeveless shirt and do a beer bong in front of a cheering crowd, but that doesn’t exactly make for an entire television show (who am I kidding, of course it does.) How ‘bout tossing a reality show my way, VH1? We could call it “Wendy Knows Whistling Best”, or even “Wendy Knows Best How To Look Productive At Work While Actually Writing a Silly Blog.” I’m willing to negotiate.


2.) Baby Can Freak Me Out

Every time I turn my TV on, it automatically tunes to channel 2, which is usually spouting an overly-enthusiastic infomercial of some kind. My budget has taken a real hit because of this seemingly-harmless-inconvenience, as I tend to passively watch the celebrity endoresed tchotchky for a solid hour without changing the channel to something else. Ergo, I buy shit. Within the past year I have ordered myself a Magic Bullet (the blender, not the vibrator), Cindy Crawford’s Meaningful Beauty skin care, and Sheer Minerals makeup. Frankly it’s a miracle the Gazelle hasn’t shown up on my doorstep yet. The other day, however, I tuned into my usual CrapForSale around noon and did a double-take as they showed what appeared to be a 1 year old child reading pretty articulately from a book. I don’t exactly know what it is babies do, but I’m pretty damn sure reading isn’t on the list. It both impressed and horrified me. First, I learned to read at the ripe old age of five, so good for you for getting a head start on it, Baby. Those kindergarten teachers are really going to be in for a surprise when you walk in with Tolstoy. On the other hand, WTF? Who/what taught an infant to read? “Baby Can Read” is a set of DVDs, maybe a book or two, I think some blocks as well… basically it is a kit sent to parents who seemingly have nothing better to do than teach their newborn to read. I want to call a spade a spade here and send these people a t-shirt with “Future Pageant Parent” printed on it as well – and you can be damn sure these are the same people who are training their cats to use a toilet.

It seems a defiance of nature to me – sure, there’s always going to be the “smart kid” in any group, but innate intelligence loses its importance when any old schmo can purchase it for three easy payments of $39.95. And where does it stop?! If you’re going to teach them how to read, why not squeeze a few quantum physics lessons in there as well and let’s make baby-rocket-scientists!? Life is not an E-Trade commercial - its funny as shit, yes, but toddlers should not be discussing their golf scores or singing Mr. Mister lyrics. Keeping children illiterate until the age of five is the practical thing to do, kind of like the Office episode where Michael and Dwight design a robot specifically with a 4 foot electric cord, so that if it tries to come after you, you can unplug it. Given too much power, robots and babies will overpower us as the human race.


3.) I Don’t Even Have Anything for This

This past weekend, me and my cohorts took our happy selves about 45 miles east of Houston to the Texas Gatorfest, as you do. The proper thing to do here would be to offer up an entire post dedicated to the splendor that is The Gatorfest, but I assure you John Steinbeck himself could not do it justice. There were executed alligators a-plenty, frozen cheesecake on a stick, live country music, and Disney-esque teacup rides. It was truly a fair for the ages.

One of the many, many reasons I love the Gatorfest is the people in attendance. It is a feast for the eyes like no other. Cowboys, swamp-dwellers, high school cheerleaders with too much makeup, pregnant teenagers, the odd European here and there who came to see that this does, in fact, actually exist. Think the small town from True Blood, sans vampires. And, ooohBOY, the looks we city-folk get! Taking a page from co-blogger Barbara’s book, I can safely say “the L.A. scene” was NOT “in full effect.”

Regardless, our group settled in with a few light-up pint glasses of beer and proceeded to observe the parade of humanity all around us. And then I saw it: a woman walked by me wearing a black tank-top and after a double-take, I realized it had the word “p….sy” on it. (Lord knows I’m not one to edit, but my skin literally crawls at that word. Just use your imaginations – we’re all adults here.) That’s something that doesn’t just walk right by and you think “Well, okay.” I had to see what the hell was going on there. With the stealth of a jungle cat, I clamored out of my seat and scampered up until I was a few paces in front of her. Then I pretended like I suddenly remembered I’d forgotten something, clapped my hand to my forehead with a look that said “Gahh, you nut!” for the full effect, and turned around. And that’s when I saw it. This at-least-45-years-old broad had a shirt on that said “I have the p….sy, so I make the rules!”

I’m going to let that sink in – I know you’ll need a minute or two.

Now, the shirt alone could stand as its own entity, but it was donned by a woman who was about my height, roughly a deuce, deuce and a ½, and was certainly no spring chicken (read: looked a lot like the grandmothers-to-be from Sixteen and Pregnant.) She had on jeans, I think some cowboy boots, and, obviously for modesty’s sake, a sequined bolero.

Like the title says above, I just… I can’t… I don’t even have anything to say for this. Except that if any of you can find that shirt and get it to me by Christmas 2009, I can assure you I will make it worth your while.

My New Pad

So I went and bit the bullet and signed a lease for an apartment in Santa Monica and I couldn't be more excited. I am sad to leave my current pad with the best roommate ever but I am sure she is more than happy to see the two slobs who have dominated her living room for the past month move on. We got a great deal on a 2 bedroom/1 bathroom apt, with brand new carpet, granite counter tops, a new stove and lots of "natural light". As for location we are 10 blocks from the beach, just a short bike ride away, on the bike that I don't have. So all in all it seems pretty good. However I am still looking for "the catch". A different APT we looked at was only 2 blocks away and was a whopping $200 more. So there has to be something.

With the second of downtime I had today at work I began perusing Craig's List for some furniture when I came across this little gem and I asked myself, is this a want or a need? Well as far as I am concerned it is a definete NEED, 100%.

Gun Rack Positives
1. Gives off the impression that you own a gun.
2. At least you look like you could protect yourself.
3. Definitely helps represent Texas in the right way.
4. Will help protect me against any apt "catch" there might be.
5. Can be used as a liquor storage cabinet in the mean time.

Yea, I think I am going to buy it.

XoXo Babs

Happy Friday!

Well last night was fun! Roxie and I met up with one of her friend's brothers who moved out here in May. Not only was he cute (score!) he was a transplant as well, originally being from WDC. We started off at a chill bar then ended up at the Roosevelt Hotel for their infamous Thursday night pool party, complete with a 1:00 AM synchronized swimming team. Wendy, you would have loved it. I am not sure if they got trained at Waldamar, but they were pretty good and to top it off had pink bathing suits on!

The Roosevelt was pretty cool, hip, you know the whole LA scene. Audrina from The Hills was there, not filming, hanging with some gel heads and the whole LA scene was in full effect. And there we were. Me in my Tory Burch flats and Roxie freaking out about her Excel test she has to take this morning for an interview. We fit right in.

Now I am at work, red eyes and all, preparing for a busy day. Happy Friday to all and I hope you had a fun Thursday night like I did, whatever it was you may have been doing.

And did I mention...Monday is my BIRTHDAY! YAY!

RIP Maddie Dog

Rest in Peace Maddie Dog.

Sept. 1995 - Sept. 8, 2009

I'm sad. A lot sadder than I thought I would be. At least she's in a better place where maybe dogs like her.

Earth to Wendy?

Donde esta chica bonita???????
(Wendy, since you don't speak Spanish that means "Where are you pretty girl?").

Well it seems like I have been carrying this blog for a couple of weeks now, and while my life has been very interesting and adventurous and cool I would like to know what is going on back on the Texas Coast. Wendy???? HELLO!?!

As for Labor day in LA, I must say it was a blast. So far this has been my favorite weekend. I'll give you a couple of the highlights and try and connect with the randomness of it all, as that is my life to date. (This is a bit long but deal with it).

Friday: Roxie's Birthday

8:00 PM - 1:30 AM Birthday Night Out: My office closed at 2 PM which allowed time for me to drive around LA and pick up cupcakes and flowers for Roxie's bday for the cute pizza place we were going to called Jones. We were then planning to go to this infamous bar called Happy Endings that has been described as a pretty "fratty" bar but it is one of a kind and really fun. In my head I am imaging a more upbeat Lizards mixed with The GK and a bunch of popped collars? We'll see. We ended up hitting up a swankier place called Winston's. This place was GREAT! Wonderful people watching and lots of stuff going on. Six girls occupying a table at this place apparently is a great way to meet people. However, most of them you don't want to meet. Like the Babbling British Bloke who picked Roxie up at the bar with a pick up line of:

"Well wait a second, move into the light I can't tell if you are hot or not."

UMM OK. No. Then he proceeds to follow her back to our table. Well this idiot sat next to me and I don't put up with that type of guy. So what do I do? After 5 mins of him trying to get me to forgive him (yea right buddy, you're lame) I politely pointed to a chair at the adjacent table and told him he needed to remove himself from ours and that the chair across the way looked available. He didn't like this so much. So I said fine go buy the birthday girl a shot bc you were so rude. He refused and said that was not necessary for us to forgive him. Ok buddy well get a freaking clue. We don't like you.

1:30 AM to 2:00 AM Meet Warren: Aka Roxie's new best friend. Well I actually didn't meet him at this time, only Mel did, but he is a transplant of eight days (definition: one who relocates to LA). He and Roxie exchanged numbers at the end of the night. That is all.

Saturday: Recovery

Early PM: Roxie had to work while I ran around looking at apartments with Amy and Cameron. Ok, so not a big highlight. Apt. hunting sucks.

4:00 PM Game Time: Head to a bar in Hollywood to watch the Texas Game with all the Texas Exes out here. Super fun! Had a blast. Best part, OU SUCKS and lost to the Mormons!! Awesome, must celebrate!

8:00 PM Santa Monica Bar Hopping: Roxie gets a call from Warren to come meet up. He has been at South for God knows how long. We show up and he is wasted. This gets hysterical because Roxie and him just met last night for 10 mins and he is drunk with non-stop verbal diarrhea. Something like this:

"OMG Roxie we are going to be best friends. I can't wait. I mean really, BEST friends. I am embarrassed to tell you this but am so drunk so I don't care but all day I have just been thinking about the fun things we are going to do. Like Roxie goes to the beach with me, Roxie drives in the car with me, Roxie plays kickball with me..."

Clearly Roxie left some sort of amazing impression on him if he was thinking about her all day after having only met her after way too many cocktails at 1:30 AM. But yea, he has turned Roxie into a Barbie Doll. I mean I know she is blonde and lives in Cali, but she does not drive a pink corvette nor has she ever dated anyone named Ken, and I would argue I am more like a Barbie Doll because I would be the first one to get a pink car, and possibly date a Ken but I'll leave that up do discussion. But this was freaking hysterical and I can't wait to hang out with him again. (Side note: he moved out here with his best friend so that makes this all so funny on even another level. It's not like he is all on his lonesome out here).

Warren departed around midnight (I guess). We decided to go to another bar and low and behold it is a Karaoke Dive Bar! We walk in and to our sprise there is none other than Travis Brewer is up on the stage OWNING it. I was shocked. What small world. Later in the night we bumped (our iPhones people...new app get it ASAP) and hopefully will hang out soon. He seems like quite the charecter.

Sunday AM: Felt like SHITE. Hit up Malibu, got a shake on the Malibu pier and went apartment hunting again. AND guess what I think we found one! We are turning the application in tomorrow and I am super excited about it! I'll keep you all updated and post pics if we get it. Note: I wore my sunglasses all day in and outside these places because I was in no shape to be meeting potential landlords! Lords of all the land!

Sunday PM: We decide to chill and wake up at 4:00 AM to go to The Price is Right. Now you all probably know that I have been on once before and I am obsessed. So needless to say I was very excited! We got there at 4:30 AM. We were in line behind two sisters, Tina and Toni, (approx ages 55 and 51) who had been 15 times in the past year. THAT IS NUTS AND SO WERE THEY! They knew the man who interviews you, Stan, where the cheap parking was, what TPIR was looking for, all the rules and regulations, I mean you name it, they knew it.

When the gas station opened up she went and bought some powdered donuts, 10 mins later she went back and bought some Crumb donuts. Approx weight, 250 LBS and a cat lover, no doubt. For the remainder of the day we were going to be next to these ladies except for the 2 hour break you get before you have to be back for the taping. So after our 4:00 AM alarm and listening to these women we made an executive decision to stop by CVS on the walk home and get some mimosa ingredients. Def. the best idea of the day. Yum! We mixed and mingled with ourselves at Stef's before heading back up to CBS at 8:30 AM.

The rest of the day was pretty much us waiting around in the lot with 300 of what perfectly describes middle America. I am talking these people go to the beach and swim in their clothes, they wear American flag shirts (no offense Courtney), they drive miles and miles to make it here and they are pure entertainment.

Here is what I learned about Toni and Tina (the 2 sisters) throughout the day.

• They have been on the show 15 times
• Toni weighed 250 lbs
• Toni has been unemployed for the past year now, collecting unemployment while doing side cash jobs as a seat filler for other game shows at the rate of $8/hr
• Toni lives in a trailer home (therefore would have no room for a dining room set unless she put it outside)
• Toni has a personalized license plate:
• Toni has previously been in the dental industry
• Toni woke up at 2:30 AM to get in line
• Toni's next paycheck will come from finding 40 people to attend a "Doctors" taping and will be $500
  
• Toni loves cats and blue eyeshadow

I am sorry to be harsh but this literally was what kept coming out of her mouth. It just kept getting better and better! Funny though, Tina was actually called up today! Crazy, I know. Stan must have just been feeling the vibe she was giving. She didn't win anything but I guess her dreams have come true now. Sadly, Roxie, Stef and I didn't get picked but hey there is always next time right!

8:00 PM Monday Night: I just ate a pizza. A whole one. SICK!

Happy short week to all and to all a good night!

xoxo
Babs