The Breakfast of Champions...

Happy Birthday Mrs. Powell

Happy Happy Day to Mrs. Winnie 'the pooh' Powell! I'll never forget visiting up at UVA for your 20th bday and surprising you at dinner. Well that part wasn't soooo memorable. But you know what was? when you passed out on the toilet at your own party! Ahhh the memories! Love you like you loved your jello shots that night...and much much more! Have a great one!

xoxo
Babs

Friday Funnies

Travel Alert: Winter Weather Conditions at Houston Hobby (HOU) - Ha Ha!

Happy Friday!

xoxo

Babs

Reasons to come to LA

People wearing swimsuits...in November
FROOGAL: as a personalized license plate...on a BMW 740

Cirque de Sole cast members practicing...on the local pier

Rolling blackouts...that are planned

Cupcake Shops...on every street

Commercials being filmed...on your street (for Match and Flowers.com none the less)

Eco Friendly Taxis...has to be the new fad
The best Pirate's Booty from Trader Joe's
Botox on the Beach - a real store on the Venice Boardwalk
Blue Skies everyday
Disneyland
The Price is Right
and....




ME!

Come already!!! Did I mention I have two couches and a great karaoke bar down the street??

xoxo Babs!

Happy Birthday Rosemary!

Happy 26th Birthday Rosemary! Remember your 21st? I do! I think it ended with us dragging you up the lawn of your house junior year in Austin. Hope that made you smile!

Love,

Babs

Pritchett Puppies

Sydney just finished her second week at Rover Oaks. She goes once a week and from her report card you can tell she must love it!

For those of you who have not met Sydney let me give you a little recap. She was picked out and purchased by Roxy and I a couple of months before we embarked on our California adventure. We picked out the cutest puppy we could find. We even picked her despite the fact that she was located in Arizona. But how could you resist this face?!?

Even though she is grown up now, she is the best puppy ever! I was originally very worried about being responsible for picking out a new dog seeing that

the dog I rescued in fourth grade (RIP Maddie) was not the nicest, per say. While she loved our family, she hated our friends, other dogs, and the mailman to say the least. Rosemary, who claims "tamed Maddie" could only buy Maddie's affection with treats and human food. Well, with Sydney, faith in my animal selection is been re-born! After her second week at doggie day care she came home with a stellar report card. No time-outs to report here!

Maddie on the other hand would probably have only lasted one day, if that, at doggie day care. I imagine her report card to come home tied around her neck looking something like the one to the right with a note attached to the back saying "Unfortunately Maddie has been banned for life. I repeat, she is no longer allowed at Rover Oaks. She made no dog friends and attempted to attack each and everyone of them. She was in timeout for most of the day. Please look for the legal bills in the mail.".

Well it is what is is. But look at the bright side, now we are not only blessed with a friendly, playful, loving dog with friends, but so are the Longhorns! She is their newest Number 1 Fan! So while Maddie plays with all her friends up in Heaven, Sydney is left to rule the playground of Rover Oaks and cheer on the horns!

xoxo, Babs

YOU Learn How to Park: Part 2

Speaking of notes on a car Rosemary, I have to tell you that I come home every night and in my already too skinny of an alley try and pull into my parking space without dinging my car. Any passer-byer would think that Austin Powers himself had taught me how to park. Yes, they automatically would think that I had no clue what I was doing. I am almost positive that they would lay LESS THAN ZERO blame on the BIG FAT WHITE TRUCK that makes a spot by parallel parking behind my spot, much less even notice it or the street parking permit it has hanging from the rear view mirror.

Well not me, this truck has been paralleling in the alley behind my spot for a while now with their street parking permit just dangling in my face! So last Sunday after a long Halloween night out, I had had enough! I squeezed my car from the alley into the garage almost hitting the truck, the wall, the trash can...everything, you name it, and decided to do something about it. I took out a receipt I had on the floor of my car and scribbled in black (not red and certainly in not any type of girly scrip) the following:

"Please go park in the street. I cannot get my car in and out of my parking spot with you here. Thank you."

AND most importantly signed my name and phone number. I was certainly not going to be a coward! One could say I was a bit cowardly in the sense that what I really wanted to say was:

"Stupid Truck go park in the street where you belong. Or in Texas for all I care. You already have a two car garage filled with CRAP. So stop taking up more than your fair share and park where you're supposed to Ass $#&@"

While I didn't get a response or a phone call, I did get the truck to move for a couple of days at least. It hasn't been there so we'll see how long it lasts. My next note won't be so nice. maybe something along the lines of:

"You belong in Texas with squiggly writing girl friend on the 8th floor of Roesmary's parking garage. Beat it!"

xoxo
Babs

YOU learn how to park

I received a note on my windshield yesterday in red girly handwriting that went like this:

"You HIT my car - THANK YOU! Learn how to park!"

It took me a second to realize this was not penned by a pranking coworker of mine, and that there was an angry, passive aggressive tenant of the 8th floor parking garage that actually thought I hit her car. Let me tell you what's wrong with this:

1. I did not hit anyone's car.
2. If I did jack up your car, do you think I would still be parked next to it? What kind of idiot do you take me for? If I hit your car I would have reversed that puppy as fast as I could and parked on a different floor (after leaving a note with my information, of course).
3. Ma'am (and I know it's a girl because of the handwriting and the "snap-in-a-Z-formation" attitude) if you were really so bothered by this, why wouldn't you identify yourself? Leave a name, number, license plate, hair color - something that would point me in the right direction to start the process of getting each other's information, exchanging insurance, etc. This intentional lack of identification shows me that a) you are a yellow bellied coward and b) you are not 100% positive that it was I who hit your car. In fact you probably just had a crappy day, saw a dent in your '98 Ford Taurus and decided to take it out in a non-confrontational note.
4. Bitch, YOU learn how to drive. You probably hit MY car.

Anyway, I've gotten it out and I'm over it. For a while I thought about printing out about 100 copies of something of this nature and leaving it on every windshield on the 8th floor, but seeing as that would not only go against my "green" nature, it might also ruin someone else's day, I decided against it.

Well, I'm off for the weekend! I'll be getting in my car in a few moments - hopefully no notes this time...

πολλή αγάπη

Rosemary

By Request

Until I can tackle Wendy's karaoke request list below y'all will have to settle for little miss Miley Cyrus's new hit "Party in the USA" and JoDee Massina's oldie but goodie "Heads Carolina Tails California". (video credit Air Mattress Living)






As for knockng requests off Wendy's list, I imagine that will start this Thanksgiving Break. Yep that's right, I get a Thanksgiving break. Don't be jelous, but just like back in school when we all loaded our cars up and drove home for Thanksgiving Break, I get to pack my bags and board a plane for Houston!!! Christian's Tailgate anyone?

xoxo
Babs

Introduction

And hello to you!

My name is Rosemary, and I am the newest contributing member of the infamous Two Coast Tales Blog! Wendy and Babs are some of my closest friends and I enjoy nothing more than wasting time at working scanning the recent blog posts from the two of them. First of all, if we are going to be spending time together, I think you should know a little bit about me:

I was born on the black sand beach in Santorini, Greece in an era where it was acceptable to send your baby out to sea if they did not have a full head of hair (a sign of prosperity in Greece). Which is exactly what happened to me. I was born after a mere 3 minutes of labor (I was the 14th child), and came out as bald as George Castanza. My crafty father had preemptively assembled a small wooden raft (just in case), and used it to send me out to the Aegean, and wished me the best. Luckily, I was intercepted by a cripple down the beach named Ernie, who became Uncle Ernie to me in the following years. Turns out, Ernie was used to this infant send-off practice and had planted himself in accordance with the tides to save the hairless babes. He had acquired quite a few children this way, so I grew up in a household of 7. He named me Rosemary after his favorite herb. I quickly became friends with one of my “sisters” who actually looked strangely identical to me. Her name is Greta and to this day people confuse the two of us because we look so much alike. In fact, I even confuse the two of us and have started answering to both names. Anyway, I had a pretty normal life growing up; skinning cats, picking the lice out of my siblings’ hair, pretending to be a cross eyed homeless kid to pick up a few extra bucks before the weekend – life was great. Around age 20 I came to America a la James Frey: woke up on a plane with no recollection of how I got there, bruised and battered, and smelling like booze. I got off the plane, saw the Texas sign and thought “Heck, why not?” so decided to stick around. Luckily I’ve met such great people (Wendy, Babs, etc.) and made a nice little life for myself here. TCT is just another way to keep in touch with the people who have made me who I am today.

Thanks for letting me be a part of it! Opa!

Πολλή αγάπη,

Rosemary

Some Songs I'd Like To See Barbara Karaoke To

• "Christmas Canon Rock" by Trans-Siberian Orchestra
• "With Arms Wide Open" by Creed
• "My Way" by Frank Sinatra
• "Objects in the Rear View Mirror May Appear Closer Than They Are" by Meat Loaf
• "Cat's in the Cradle" by Harry Chapin
• "Just a Friend" by Biz Markie
• "Do They Know Its Christmas" circa the Live Aid London Concert, 1985
• The theme song from Night Court

Smell that?

It's Rosemary......

Wendy's excuses have run their course.

While her house was hit with lightening over two weeks ago, she has yet to post a blog in ___ weeks. Lightening striking a house and frying the Internet is a valid reason not to post, and then not wanting to post at work, valid as well. However, we are not living in 1994 where a dial up connection and AOL is necessary to get stuff out on the web. This is 2009, over 15 years have passed since a screen name and a phone line were needed to get online. Now we don’t even have to have cords; you can go wireless! For those of us stuck in 1994 that means borrow some Internet from your neighbors, or park your car outside a Starbucks and power up the labtop. How about even spending a nice relaxing evening with your boyfriend while he cooks and you blog away? That sounds like a wonderful plan.

"Hey babe, lets cook dinner tonight…yea you do the cooking and I’ll drink the
wine and type away, remember my Internet is broken? Thanks hun!"

Wendy being the sly fox that she is could easily come up with some tricky scheme like that, and probably pull it off even better. Remember when we tried to Free Freddie? Well, this is a way easier scheme with guaranteed positive results. You not only get an awesome dinner cooked by your one and only but also some time and free Internet to post away. Ohhhh the possibilities. .
But that’s ok, I can take a hint…I’ll just keep updating about my life and remain in the dark about my dear friend Wendy’s life back in Texas. Sad day.

Tear.
Babs

Sin City Bound

Tomorrow after work I am departing for Sin City. Hopefully Sunday night I will have the energy to write about all the crazy things I do this weekend, but if not just use your imagination. Don't think too long and hard about it though, I'm not THAT crazy. But I am considering this trip as research for Erin's Bachelorette party in January that I am in the works of planning. So this weekend will be my "site visit". Erin, that means I will be scouting out all the hot new restaurants and clubs to insure an INSANELY good time in January. So get excited!

In turn I will be billing this trip back to all the bachelorettes that will be attending in January. So don't be alarmed at the small upcharge you will see on your bill. So thank you to all and get ready for a smashing good time!!!

xoxo
Babs

Celeb City

Ok so I am re-posting my current celeb sightings. So from now on I will update this post and this list with all the hot new celebs I see. For those of you new to the whole blog thing if you click on the tag to the right that says 'Celeb Sightings' and it will bring you straight to this post. This means you won't have to scroll through the whole blog to find the updates. Heaven forbid you were interested in any other postings, especially those few and far between from Wendy. Wink Wink.

xoxo
Babs

1. Noah aka Vincent Young from the original 90210 - not the Quarterback at the Belmont.
2. Eggs aka Mehcad Brooks from True Blood walking in The Grove
3. Justin Walker aka Dave Annable from Brothers and Sisters at Coco de Ville
4. Kevin Walker aka Matthew Rhys from Brothers and Sisters* at Coco de Ville
5. Kelly Osbourne at Teddy's
6. Ella Simms aka Katie Cassidy from Melrose Place filming outside a restaurant I was eating at. I got to walk right through the set too! It was pretty cool!
7. Keifer Sutherland aka Jack Bauer (walking to his car outside my building. He smiled at me and gave me a "hey what's up hottie" head knod. yep that's right...to bad he is a drunky drunk).
8. Eric von Detten (EVD) at The Penthouse at The Huntly, he ate dinner with me and his "friends" and he was a total DUD.
9. Hilary Swank approx 3 feet from me at the gym...soooooo skinny! but soooo pretty.
10. Colin Farrell in my building chatting it up with the security guy. In a fedora.

11. Zac Efron at dinner at Pace. Wonderful little restaurant in the hills.

12. Hillary Swank at Craft

13. Renee Zellweger at Coffee Bean

14. Pierce Brosnan doing push ups in the courtyard at work

15. The Rock in my parking garage using the freight elevator

16. Jessica Stroup (silver in 90210) in my workout class next to me at the gym

Hallow's Eve

I started brainstorming this week about what to be for Halloween. Last year's Sarah Palin will be hard to beat, but that costume was a one time thing.

(John McCain & Sarah Palin @ Vintage 2008)

So what to be this year? I don't do "sexy" (fill in the blank costumes) and like funny comedic costumes. So far I have come up with the following.

• Kelly Kapowski (as a Bayside cheerleader)



• Falcon (in a box)



• The Twitter Bird and run around tweeting all night (as in making the tweet bird noise...)

And last but not least, my personal forerunner...

• A Peep

Roxy thinks I won't be able to get into a bar dressed like this and would have to spend Halloween at Disney land if I choose to go as a Peep. I would have to disagree, but don't think I will be a head turner...I guess we will just have to see. My vision is a bit edgier...picture some fishnet tights, x the work out pants and a higher heeled shoe as opposed to the classic black pump. I see potential and seeing as how I had a Peeps compartment in my car for 6 years, this costume as very fitting! Let me know what y'all think! I am open to suggestions.

Some more ideas:

When life gives you lemons...

Make lemonade, or a vodka...right? Well what happens when life gives you all the ingredients you need to make cookies except your trusty mixer? You use a bowl. When you don't have a bowl? You use Tupperware you bought at target? Or at least that's what I did.

Last night I officially christened my apartment kitchen with its first batch of home made chocolate chip cookies. The only problem is life without a mixer has been a set back. On Saturday I purchased some cupcake mix, and did not realize I did not have my trusty mixer to make them with. Then last night I purchased cookie ingredients, again forgetting about my missing mixer and came home very excited only to realize again, no mixer. And beyond that no mixing bowl. That is a pretty sad site for a baker such as myself. But being the resourceful girl that I am I made do with the Tupperware kit I had bought at Target. How I managed to get out of that store with Tupperware and no mixer or mixing bowl is an anomaly. In my last abode I not only had one Kitchen - Aid mixer, but two. I also had at least three sets of mixing bowls. Something is array here.

While life with a bike is amazing...life without a mixer, for me at least, is a set-back.

Happiness on Hump Day!

Happy Hump Day to all! I hope everyone is having a great mid week day in whatever time zone you may be in. I am happy to say that my hump day rolled in this week coming off of a very successful Tuesday. My work day was fine but it was how my day concluded that was so bomb.com.

My work day ended as Roxie picked me up at work. We had plans to go grab a bite with my cousin before the Old Crow Medicine Show concert. We parked on Hollywood, which was a mad house because the movie Whip It starring Drew Barrymore (as Smashley Simpson mind you - maybe worth going to see just to see her characterization of Ashley as Smashley) was premiering at the Kodak Theater. The people were gathered in masses snapping pictures yelling "Drew Drew, over here" (no joke this all happened) as Rox and I pushed through. I was in need of a Blue Moon and what better place than the Pig'n Whistle, the home of Judy Garland's 15th birthday party. As we passed the fans, and "lucky" bystanders outside the Kodak Theater, we proceeded to walk through a film set up for a totally different project. Roxie and I couldn't tell what it was for and we went on our business as I really wanted my Blue Moon.

My cousin got there a bit later than we did and upon her arrival announced that they were filming Melrose Place next door. To this I shrieked in excitement "REALLY?!" So exciting right?! So we finished our meal and beers and had to back-track a bit to get to the Ford Theater for the concert (aka walk by the filming of MP). So...it was WAAAAAY cooler than I had even imagined, over the past 30 mins at dinner that is. They had blocked the sidewalk off and as we attempted to pass by in the street they pulled us back on the sidewalk and asked us to wait. After the director yelled "CUT" they lifted the tape up and we literally got to walk through the scene. I was about 4 inches away from Katie Cassidy (aka Ella Simms). She was tall and all decked out in her sequin dress yelling at some guy getting into a limo (in the scene that is). As we passed by her the set crew was coming to put a robe on her (so they really do that!), and that was about it.

We continued our walk to the Ford, and ended up walking up the 101 freeway, yes Houstonians this would be equivalent to walking on the side of I-10, not cool. We ended up making it to the theater alive just in time for a little honky tonk restaurant Old Crow Medicine Show. The venue was awesome and the show was good. The dancing crowds-men were ridiculous to watch and the smell of BO was rampid. All in all a great show and I would definitely go again!

And then, here we are, to happy hump day, rounding out at a little after mid-day for me. I am really looking forward to my baking class tonight at Kiss My Bundt Bakery. In a quest to one day own my own bakery, with the perfect name mind you, I must research along the way and what better way than a baking cooking class? ...and the tickets were on sale. How perfect right?!?

So I hope all is well with my fellow readers, read on, forward on, and follow on! Lets amp this blog up! Wendy....you game? Or are you to busy celebrating Hump Day????

xoxo
Babs

Bike's Galore

Ok readers, stay tuned. Tonight I am heading to the Chubby's Cruisers to pick out a bike so the final decision will be made in less than an hour. Just to add a little suspense I did find another pink bike that I am pretty much in love with. To give you a hint it is similar to what you get for selling oodles of mary kay, so we will see if it proves to be the one.

On a side note here are a list of the celebrities I have seen since moving here. I will add to it as I live on.
1. Noah aka Vincent Young from the original 90210 - not the Quarterback at the Belmont.
2. Eggs aka Mehcad Brooks from True Blood walking in The Grove
3. Justin Walker aka Dave Annable from Brothers and Sisters at Coco de Ville
4. Kevin Walker aka Matthew Rhys from Brothers and Sisters* at Coco de Ville
5. Kelly Osborne at Teddy's
6. Ella Simms aka Katie Cassidy from Melrose Place filming outside a restaurant I was eating at. I got to walk right through the set too! It was pretty cool!
7. Keifer Sutherland aka Jack Bauer (walking to his car outside my building. He smiled at me and gave me a "hey what's up hottie" head knod. yep that's right...to bad he is a drunky drunk).
8. Eric von Detten (EVD) at The Penthouse at The Huntly, he ate dinner with me and his "friends" and he was a total DUD.

*He is from Wales, did you know? Wendy, I asked if he knew Tom Duffy but he didn't so then I accused him of pretending to be from Wales. I also used they, "hey what is your name, I think I know you" speel. I am sure he hasn't ever heard that one before?!? Disclaimer: This was on the night of my birthday, so I am not exactly sure he appreciated it but I found it amusing and am claiming immunity.

Drum Roll Please.....Here's my new bike!

This is the first picture of her from Friday, parked out side my Yoga class. How LA of me right?! Ride my bike to Yoga class...so hip to the hop. I also spent all day Sunday cruising around on her (name to be decided shortly, and yes I am taking suggestions). I rode her to the Abbot Kinney street festival with a couple of veteran bike owners Lauren & Taylor. They showed me the streets, taught me how to lock it up securely, and maybe taught me the most important thing of all...how useful a bell can be! So next stop Chubby's to pick out a bell. Stay tuned. Ding Ding.

What's Happening Here? A Series of WTFs

Smello. Remember me? Sorry I’ve been silent so long, dear readers (all 3 of you) – I got a BatSignal that a pack of wild, ravenous West-Coast coyotes (pronounced “KAI-YOATS”) was harassing my fair co-blogger Barbara, so I had to head out there and see what all the fuss was about.

It wasn’t pretty, but no one F’s with my Babs and gets away with it. On to the blog!

I don’t know if it’s the weather, the times that are a-changin’, or the fact I sit in a silent office all day so that any time anything remotely interesting happens to me I absolutely flip my lid, but I have really been noticing some strange occurrences “out there” recently. I’ll list.

1.) Fee Fi Fo Hogan

Brooke Hogan is huge. There, I said it. I know, I know “but everyone is beautiful in their own waaaay!” That’s all good and well but ohsweetChrist, HOW TALL IS THAT GIRL??? I nonchalantly tuned into Brooke Knows Best the other day and my jaw literally dropped when I saw her pose next to a group of friends for a photograph. It was like Andre the Giant taking a publicity shot with that family from Little People Big World. (Sidenote: I used to work for a government-entity-type-of-place and at one of our events we got to take pictures with Yao Ming, #11 for the Houston Rockets. Naturally, I stuck my picture next to my computer, the better to admire its circus-sideshow resemblance, until one day our CEO, who could only be described as a hybrid between Mr. Rogers and George-W.-Bush-on-acid, admired it for a bit too long and declared "Whew, that’s one tall Chinaman!" I honestly waited for him to pull his eyes to the outside of his head, a la Miley Cyrus' offensive pictures, but it was a no-go. HA-RUMPH.) I kid you not, B.Hoges nearly knelt to the ground to blend in with everyone else’s height. You know what I’m talking about – we’ve all seen a tall person do this at some point or another while taking a photo because they feel gargantuan compared to the pipsqueaks next to them and they think if they squat down, the rest of us will be none the wiser. To which I say Nonsense - if the can of vegetables from Wet Hot American Summer taught me anything at all, it’s that you should Be Proud Of Who You Are. So you're tall! No biggie! (Pun intended?) Let the rest of us dwarfs marvel at you for a bit, experience a tinge of jealousy after the realization your legs are twice as long as ours, and then let's all move on.

I truly have no beef with Brooke Hogan (at 5’4’’, I would be a fool to) and from the 30-minute, VH1-edited version of her we’re treated to once a week, she seems like an okay gal. But what is that title? "Brooke Knows Best" - knows what best, exactly? Hair bleach? Hollister mini-skirts? Weight-lifting? By leaving the title ambiguous, VH1 producers, you seem to assume Brooke Knows Everything Best, of which I assure you she does not. So what's the purpose of giving her her own show? Yeah, sure, sometimes Hulk Hogan shows up with his misfit meat-head friends during the kids’ spring break trip to rip off his sleeveless shirt and do a beer bong in front of a cheering crowd, but that doesn’t exactly make for an entire television show (who am I kidding, of course it does.) How ‘bout tossing a reality show my way, VH1? We could call it “Wendy Knows Whistling Best”, or even “Wendy Knows Best How To Look Productive At Work While Actually Writing a Silly Blog.” I’m willing to negotiate.


2.) Baby Can Freak Me Out

Every time I turn my TV on, it automatically tunes to channel 2, which is usually spouting an overly-enthusiastic infomercial of some kind. My budget has taken a real hit because of this seemingly-harmless-inconvenience, as I tend to passively watch the celebrity endoresed tchotchky for a solid hour without changing the channel to something else. Ergo, I buy shit. Within the past year I have ordered myself a Magic Bullet (the blender, not the vibrator), Cindy Crawford’s Meaningful Beauty skin care, and Sheer Minerals makeup. Frankly it’s a miracle the Gazelle hasn’t shown up on my doorstep yet. The other day, however, I tuned into my usual CrapForSale around noon and did a double-take as they showed what appeared to be a 1 year old child reading pretty articulately from a book. I don’t exactly know what it is babies do, but I’m pretty damn sure reading isn’t on the list. It both impressed and horrified me. First, I learned to read at the ripe old age of five, so good for you for getting a head start on it, Baby. Those kindergarten teachers are really going to be in for a surprise when you walk in with Tolstoy. On the other hand, WTF? Who/what taught an infant to read? “Baby Can Read” is a set of DVDs, maybe a book or two, I think some blocks as well… basically it is a kit sent to parents who seemingly have nothing better to do than teach their newborn to read. I want to call a spade a spade here and send these people a t-shirt with “Future Pageant Parent” printed on it as well – and you can be damn sure these are the same people who are training their cats to use a toilet.

It seems a defiance of nature to me – sure, there’s always going to be the “smart kid” in any group, but innate intelligence loses its importance when any old schmo can purchase it for three easy payments of $39.95. And where does it stop?! If you’re going to teach them how to read, why not squeeze a few quantum physics lessons in there as well and let’s make baby-rocket-scientists!? Life is not an E-Trade commercial - its funny as shit, yes, but toddlers should not be discussing their golf scores or singing Mr. Mister lyrics. Keeping children illiterate until the age of five is the practical thing to do, kind of like the Office episode where Michael and Dwight design a robot specifically with a 4 foot electric cord, so that if it tries to come after you, you can unplug it. Given too much power, robots and babies will overpower us as the human race.


3.) I Don’t Even Have Anything for This

This past weekend, me and my cohorts took our happy selves about 45 miles east of Houston to the Texas Gatorfest, as you do. The proper thing to do here would be to offer up an entire post dedicated to the splendor that is The Gatorfest, but I assure you John Steinbeck himself could not do it justice. There were executed alligators a-plenty, frozen cheesecake on a stick, live country music, and Disney-esque teacup rides. It was truly a fair for the ages.

One of the many, many reasons I love the Gatorfest is the people in attendance. It is a feast for the eyes like no other. Cowboys, swamp-dwellers, high school cheerleaders with too much makeup, pregnant teenagers, the odd European here and there who came to see that this does, in fact, actually exist. Think the small town from True Blood, sans vampires. And, ooohBOY, the looks we city-folk get! Taking a page from co-blogger Barbara’s book, I can safely say “the L.A. scene” was NOT “in full effect.”

Regardless, our group settled in with a few light-up pint glasses of beer and proceeded to observe the parade of humanity all around us. And then I saw it: a woman walked by me wearing a black tank-top and after a double-take, I realized it had the word “p….sy” on it. (Lord knows I’m not one to edit, but my skin literally crawls at that word. Just use your imaginations – we’re all adults here.) That’s something that doesn’t just walk right by and you think “Well, okay.” I had to see what the hell was going on there. With the stealth of a jungle cat, I clamored out of my seat and scampered up until I was a few paces in front of her. Then I pretended like I suddenly remembered I’d forgotten something, clapped my hand to my forehead with a look that said “Gahh, you nut!” for the full effect, and turned around. And that’s when I saw it. This at-least-45-years-old broad had a shirt on that said “I have the p….sy, so I make the rules!”

I’m going to let that sink in – I know you’ll need a minute or two.

Now, the shirt alone could stand as its own entity, but it was donned by a woman who was about my height, roughly a deuce, deuce and a ½, and was certainly no spring chicken (read: looked a lot like the grandmothers-to-be from Sixteen and Pregnant.) She had on jeans, I think some cowboy boots, and, obviously for modesty’s sake, a sequined bolero.

Like the title says above, I just… I can’t… I don’t even have anything to say for this. Except that if any of you can find that shirt and get it to me by Christmas 2009, I can assure you I will make it worth your while.

My New Pad

So I went and bit the bullet and signed a lease for an apartment in Santa Monica and I couldn't be more excited. I am sad to leave my current pad with the best roommate ever but I am sure she is more than happy to see the two slobs who have dominated her living room for the past month move on. We got a great deal on a 2 bedroom/1 bathroom apt, with brand new carpet, granite counter tops, a new stove and lots of "natural light". As for location we are 10 blocks from the beach, just a short bike ride away, on the bike that I don't have. So all in all it seems pretty good. However I am still looking for "the catch". A different APT we looked at was only 2 blocks away and was a whopping $200 more. So there has to be something.

With the second of downtime I had today at work I began perusing Craig's List for some furniture when I came across this little gem and I asked myself, is this a want or a need? Well as far as I am concerned it is a definete NEED, 100%.

Gun Rack Positives
1. Gives off the impression that you own a gun.
2. At least you look like you could protect yourself.
3. Definitely helps represent Texas in the right way.
4. Will help protect me against any apt "catch" there might be.
5. Can be used as a liquor storage cabinet in the mean time.

Yea, I think I am going to buy it.

XoXo Babs

Happy Friday!

Well last night was fun! Roxie and I met up with one of her friend's brothers who moved out here in May. Not only was he cute (score!) he was a transplant as well, originally being from WDC. We started off at a chill bar then ended up at the Roosevelt Hotel for their infamous Thursday night pool party, complete with a 1:00 AM synchronized swimming team. Wendy, you would have loved it. I am not sure if they got trained at Waldamar, but they were pretty good and to top it off had pink bathing suits on!

The Roosevelt was pretty cool, hip, you know the whole LA scene. Audrina from The Hills was there, not filming, hanging with some gel heads and the whole LA scene was in full effect. And there we were. Me in my Tory Burch flats and Roxie freaking out about her Excel test she has to take this morning for an interview. We fit right in.

Now I am at work, red eyes and all, preparing for a busy day. Happy Friday to all and I hope you had a fun Thursday night like I did, whatever it was you may have been doing.

And did I mention...Monday is my BIRTHDAY! YAY!

RIP Maddie Dog

Rest in Peace Maddie Dog.

Sept. 1995 - Sept. 8, 2009

I'm sad. A lot sadder than I thought I would be. At least she's in a better place where maybe dogs like her.

Earth to Wendy?

Donde esta chica bonita???????
(Wendy, since you don't speak Spanish that means "Where are you pretty girl?").

Well it seems like I have been carrying this blog for a couple of weeks now, and while my life has been very interesting and adventurous and cool I would like to know what is going on back on the Texas Coast. Wendy???? HELLO!?!

As for Labor day in LA, I must say it was a blast. So far this has been my favorite weekend. I'll give you a couple of the highlights and try and connect with the randomness of it all, as that is my life to date. (This is a bit long but deal with it).

Friday: Roxie's Birthday

8:00 PM - 1:30 AM Birthday Night Out: My office closed at 2 PM which allowed time for me to drive around LA and pick up cupcakes and flowers for Roxie's bday for the cute pizza place we were going to called Jones. We were then planning to go to this infamous bar called Happy Endings that has been described as a pretty "fratty" bar but it is one of a kind and really fun. In my head I am imaging a more upbeat Lizards mixed with The GK and a bunch of popped collars? We'll see. We ended up hitting up a swankier place called Winston's. This place was GREAT! Wonderful people watching and lots of stuff going on. Six girls occupying a table at this place apparently is a great way to meet people. However, most of them you don't want to meet. Like the Babbling British Bloke who picked Roxie up at the bar with a pick up line of:

"Well wait a second, move into the light I can't tell if you are hot or not."

UMM OK. No. Then he proceeds to follow her back to our table. Well this idiot sat next to me and I don't put up with that type of guy. So what do I do? After 5 mins of him trying to get me to forgive him (yea right buddy, you're lame) I politely pointed to a chair at the adjacent table and told him he needed to remove himself from ours and that the chair across the way looked available. He didn't like this so much. So I said fine go buy the birthday girl a shot bc you were so rude. He refused and said that was not necessary for us to forgive him. Ok buddy well get a freaking clue. We don't like you.

1:30 AM to 2:00 AM Meet Warren: Aka Roxie's new best friend. Well I actually didn't meet him at this time, only Mel did, but he is a transplant of eight days (definition: one who relocates to LA). He and Roxie exchanged numbers at the end of the night. That is all.

Saturday: Recovery

Early PM: Roxie had to work while I ran around looking at apartments with Amy and Cameron. Ok, so not a big highlight. Apt. hunting sucks.

4:00 PM Game Time: Head to a bar in Hollywood to watch the Texas Game with all the Texas Exes out here. Super fun! Had a blast. Best part, OU SUCKS and lost to the Mormons!! Awesome, must celebrate!

8:00 PM Santa Monica Bar Hopping: Roxie gets a call from Warren to come meet up. He has been at South for God knows how long. We show up and he is wasted. This gets hysterical because Roxie and him just met last night for 10 mins and he is drunk with non-stop verbal diarrhea. Something like this:

"OMG Roxie we are going to be best friends. I can't wait. I mean really, BEST friends. I am embarrassed to tell you this but am so drunk so I don't care but all day I have just been thinking about the fun things we are going to do. Like Roxie goes to the beach with me, Roxie drives in the car with me, Roxie plays kickball with me..."

Clearly Roxie left some sort of amazing impression on him if he was thinking about her all day after having only met her after way too many cocktails at 1:30 AM. But yea, he has turned Roxie into a Barbie Doll. I mean I know she is blonde and lives in Cali, but she does not drive a pink corvette nor has she ever dated anyone named Ken, and I would argue I am more like a Barbie Doll because I would be the first one to get a pink car, and possibly date a Ken but I'll leave that up do discussion. But this was freaking hysterical and I can't wait to hang out with him again. (Side note: he moved out here with his best friend so that makes this all so funny on even another level. It's not like he is all on his lonesome out here).

Warren departed around midnight (I guess). We decided to go to another bar and low and behold it is a Karaoke Dive Bar! We walk in and to our sprise there is none other than Travis Brewer is up on the stage OWNING it. I was shocked. What small world. Later in the night we bumped (our iPhones people...new app get it ASAP) and hopefully will hang out soon. He seems like quite the charecter.

Sunday AM: Felt like SHITE. Hit up Malibu, got a shake on the Malibu pier and went apartment hunting again. AND guess what I think we found one! We are turning the application in tomorrow and I am super excited about it! I'll keep you all updated and post pics if we get it. Note: I wore my sunglasses all day in and outside these places because I was in no shape to be meeting potential landlords! Lords of all the land!

Sunday PM: We decide to chill and wake up at 4:00 AM to go to The Price is Right. Now you all probably know that I have been on once before and I am obsessed. So needless to say I was very excited! We got there at 4:30 AM. We were in line behind two sisters, Tina and Toni, (approx ages 55 and 51) who had been 15 times in the past year. THAT IS NUTS AND SO WERE THEY! They knew the man who interviews you, Stan, where the cheap parking was, what TPIR was looking for, all the rules and regulations, I mean you name it, they knew it.

When the gas station opened up she went and bought some powdered donuts, 10 mins later she went back and bought some Crumb donuts. Approx weight, 250 LBS and a cat lover, no doubt. For the remainder of the day we were going to be next to these ladies except for the 2 hour break you get before you have to be back for the taping. So after our 4:00 AM alarm and listening to these women we made an executive decision to stop by CVS on the walk home and get some mimosa ingredients. Def. the best idea of the day. Yum! We mixed and mingled with ourselves at Stef's before heading back up to CBS at 8:30 AM.

The rest of the day was pretty much us waiting around in the lot with 300 of what perfectly describes middle America. I am talking these people go to the beach and swim in their clothes, they wear American flag shirts (no offense Courtney), they drive miles and miles to make it here and they are pure entertainment.

Here is what I learned about Toni and Tina (the 2 sisters) throughout the day.

• They have been on the show 15 times
• Toni weighed 250 lbs
• Toni has been unemployed for the past year now, collecting unemployment while doing side cash jobs as a seat filler for other game shows at the rate of $8/hr
• Toni lives in a trailer home (therefore would have no room for a dining room set unless she put it outside)
• Toni has a personalized license plate:
• Toni has previously been in the dental industry
• Toni woke up at 2:30 AM to get in line
• Toni's next paycheck will come from finding 40 people to attend a "Doctors" taping and will be $500
  
• Toni loves cats and blue eyeshadow

I am sorry to be harsh but this literally was what kept coming out of her mouth. It just kept getting better and better! Funny though, Tina was actually called up today! Crazy, I know. Stan must have just been feeling the vibe she was giving. She didn't win anything but I guess her dreams have come true now. Sadly, Roxie, Stef and I didn't get picked but hey there is always next time right!

8:00 PM Monday Night: I just ate a pizza. A whole one. SICK!

Happy short week to all and to all a good night!

xoxo
Babs

Talents and Finding Mine

Monday was my first day at work at my new job in LA. I had been warned that new people in my group have to get up and sing their school’s fight song on their first day, first thing, Monday morning. I debated long and hard last weekend about whether this was a joke or not and finally concluded that it was not. So I practiced some but I knew it wouldn't help. I was doomed.

When I got to work I confirmed that this was not a joke. And to make things worse, the new girl from last week not only sang her school’s fight song, but also tap danced to it. Yea, so how the HELL was I supposed to follow that up? So surly enough at the commencement of the Monday morning 8 AM meeting I was introduced and asked to stand up and sing. After the 30 seconds of the Texas Fight Song, which I so proudly sang in front of 40 strangers, I was told to find my talent and come back. Encouraging right? They were lucky I came back on Tuesday (talent or not). I mean shit, do they have an oven because I can make one hell of a cookie but other than that talents aren't really my strong suit.

So tonight, after day three of my new job, I came home and turned on the tv and America’s Got Talent was on NBC. I have never seen this show but the first act was a dance group from Berkley. I balked at this at first. Berkley kids are known for their smarts not their dance moves. But this might be the smartest group of Berkley kids yet. They formed a Bollywood Dance Group. Clearly capitalizing on Slumdog Millionaire, AND it was good. I was really impressed and what a freaking smart group of people. Street dancing is so MTV circa 2005. What is that show...America's Best Dance Crew? Well that is last week's news. This was brilliant! Way to take the hype of Slumdog and make money off of it Berkley kids. Bravo.

So after my excitement from their brilliant idea subsided, I started to notice the Bollywood moves. Have you ever seen Bollywood dance before? There is nothing to it. Seriously, it is a mix of cheerleading moves and some of my famous feet movements (check it out below). It really looks easy. I think it is more about the costume and the music. So after I get some weeks of practice and some hours of crunches under my belt, I have decided that I am going to bust back into that meeting room and show them my real talent: Bollywood Dancing. Who's your mama?

Done and Done.
Babs

THIS IS MY YEAR! (But don’t quote me on that)

Well I am sitting here at the airport listening to my chill random mix looking (and feeling) good. And by good I mean crap. My stomach is in knots (don’t worry Winnie it had nothing to do with the amazing food last night…more like the pieces of cake and the chocolate pretzels I was downing like crack), my eyes are telling a story I probably didn’t want to share with the thousand strangers passing by me at IAH, and my hair is a mess. Wendy counted something like 58 bobby pins that she pulled out of her hair. I lost count at 30 and am sure there are still some tangled in my mess of a doo right now.

But the reason I feel and look the way I do right this minute is because last night was a successful wedding celebration for Winnie and Ben. Seriously, what a night! Who wouldn’t want to begin a life of love with a full Mexican buffet, 412 of your closest friends and relatives, seven of the best bridesmaids EVER, a photo booth of silliness, a band, and of course a full open bar. You couldn’t ask for more. Unless you’re Patty Woods in which case you would request a tambourine, or just bring your own. The party was amazing. We laughed, we drank, we ate, and most importantly we danced. Even Wendy was pulling out some special moves I hadn’t seen before. The Party Moms on Parade were in FULL effect and the love train just kept on going.

Sure, weddings are about having fun with your friends and celebrating the gracious union of love and commitment but to be honest to me they are really about the cake and the bouquet. Really, I judge a wedding by the taste of the cake (mostly the grooms cake because I love chocolate) and catching the bouquet. I don’t always catch the bouquet though. Sometimes really lame people decide they can put fate in their own hands and hand it to the “lucky” recipient(s) and that is just crap. But to me the tossing of the bouquet is a tradition of passing the love along from one bride to the next?!? I have caught two bouquets; the first was a year ago and then again last night. So THIS IS MY YEAR. But if things don’t work out we always have next year. And shout out to Ms. Palmer who is actually next.

So all in all I rate the wedding a 110!

The other epic part of last night was that I snuck out from my parents’ house for the first time, ever. Yep at the age of 25 I attempted to sneak out of my parents’ house. I wish I had tried this back in high school. At least I would have known what I was doing because it was apparent that I had no idea what I was doing at 3 am last night as I got busted. That is just sad. I was outside waiting to close the garage when I hear this voice from above “Babs, what are you doing?”. Low and behold my mom is hanging outside my sister’s window and has caught me red handed. Classic right? Pitiful is more like it.

Winnie and Ben – 1; Mom – 1; Barbara - -1

XOXO Babs

How to survive a coyote attack: by someone that knows!

What to do when encountered by a coyote:
1. Be alert
2. Arm yourself (See pic A)
3. Call Dad
4. Disregard Dad
5. Cautiously proceed forward with as little fear as possible (they sense fear).
6. Run, if necessary

(Pic A) The Attacker

So yesterday my sister and I decided to hike up to the famous Hollywood sign via Griffith Park. We parked halfway up the hill and started our uphill trek to the sign. There were people on the trail, but not many. We made it to the sign (or as close as you can get) and turned around knowing the way back would be all down hill! YES!

Well while briskly walking down hill I spotted what looked like a dog about 20 yards ahead of us. However there were no people which means it was no dog. The scene went something like this:

"Mel, that's a coyote"
"No it's not Jennifer, it's a dog"
"NO...IT'S A COYOTE...there are no people"

This was no friendly Wile E. Coyote either, he was proceeding slowly but would stop every yard or so and glare back at us, no joke! So luckily I knew what to do. We simply followed steps 1 - 6 above and made it out alive. I did not plan on following step 4 but when Dad instructed us to get in the car and drive...back to Texas, we had no choice but to disregard him. A. the car was still half a mile away or so and B. there are coyotes in Texas as well.

So needles to say we survived and will most likely go on this hike again but probably just not at 5:00 which I suspect is dinner time for Mr. Wile E. Coyote and friends. They are ugly little things, and I don't plan on seeing one again anytime soon.

XOXO - BABS

And in the words of Beyonce herself - To the Left, Left, Left

So I've made it to the left coast, the west coast, the big city and bright lights of LA, the land of fruits and nuts whatever you like to call it! Now let me just tell you what is in between Houston and Los Angeles....a whole lotta nothin!
Texas was ok. We made it to Fort Stockton on Friday night around midnight. We stayed for $100 in a Comfort Suites hotel. Now while this was a "nice" motel no way was it worth 100 bones. You can stay in the Alden Hotel (Mel's former employer) in the downtown of the fourth largest city in the US for that much and I am not sure what more FT. Stockton has to offer at the Comfort Suites? An indoor pool filled with germs and yellow stuff you say? Not worth close to 100 bones in my book.

After the night's cat nap we woke up at 5 AM and got back on the road by 5:30 AM. We were determined to make it all the way to LA. The drive was long and boring so I'll just sum it up here as to not bore you. Here is what we passed along the way:

Texas:
Bakersfield - Where all the bakers live? This is where I might go if LA doesn't work out
Reeves County - Shout out to Mrs. Schilling!
Deer - 5 alive, 1 dead

New Mexico:
Border Patrol - Seriously they checked your cars as you drove by
Safety Corridors - an area on the high way where the speed limit drops rapidly from 80 to 65. Winnie warned me about these. She says they are to prevent drunk Inidian Driving...IDK how that helps but it sure did put a halt in our speeding.

Arizona:
Dirt devils & Roadrunners - apparently these are dangerous however see below for what I thought was WAY more dangerous
Speed CAMERAS - WTF? Literally there were parked Explorer looking cars on the side of the freeway with a 10 ft. pool on the hood sticking straight up with a camera on the top. So every 3 miles feet there would be a speed camera and you would have to slow down to 60. These were FAR more dangerous than the damn dirt devils and roadrunners. Arizona - 1, Pritchett family - 0

California:
Heads Carolina, Tails California!
Beaumont: Still one hour outside of LA
Natur-Day - The best day of the week in LA. Natty Lite still exists in La LA Land!

So that about sums up the drive. I have to give props to MickEDoo who drove probably 20 of the 25 hours it took us! Without her it would have taken us weeks to get here. On Saturday we went on a 2 hour walk from my Aunt's house in Pasadena to the Rose Bowl. This brought back some WONDERFUL memories! I can't wait to see what happens with the horns this year! Yesterday we went down to Santa Monica and had lunch by the beach. Today I woke at 5:30 AM to head down to the CBS Studios to be on the Price is Right, but low and behold they were already sold out. So till next week TPRIR! $1 Now I am sitting at a coffee shop on Sunset Blvd. blogging, looking for jobs, and secretly scoping out celebs. So far none, but I'll keep y'all posted!

-Babs!

MM - Exciting News!

Well another MM is upon us, but what a joyous day for me as it is the start of my last week at work before I (finally) embark on my journey to Los Angeles, California! Friday after my last day I will hitting the road for the West Coast and Two Coast Tales will be living up to its name. Two poodles on different coasts just trying to keep it real (or whatever that tag line up top says).

California, here I comeeeeee!

Blah - Monday Mornings

Well another one is upon us, a dreadful no good Monday Morning (MM). It is always right around the time I start to enjoy my Sunday that I realize sooner rather than later it is going to be MM and I start thinking about all the details stupid MM entails. Mon-DAYS aren’t SOO bad, it is just the stupid MM and the anticipation of it that somehow makes it worse than any other morning. Normally it’s the regular routine, shower (or not), brush my teeth, feed the dog, eat some cereal, throw my hair in a pony, and drive (slowly) to work. While I don’t dread doing all these things it is just the matter of fact that it is a MM, the start of a new week, and all I want is for it to be 5:00 so I won’t have another MM for another 7 days. That makes for a long Monday and that’s a fact Jack!

Well today’s MM was a bit different. It started off by me having to wake up earlier than normal for an 8:15 dr. appt (boo #1). While that doesn’t seem to be too bad, the appt. was for the allergy dr. and the test I was getting does not allow me to shower for three days (boo #2)…so needless to say I went ahead and opted for a MM shower, and enjoyed every minute of it. I drove to the dr.’s office out by Memorial City Mall (would be boo #3, except that it was against traffic) and got put in the exam room. Well a man walks in, not the Dr., but a Man Nurse (MN). Now had it been Greg Fauker that would have been one thing, but this MN looked more like the creepy wrestler-teacher from Billy Madison (boo #3). THEN on top of having a creepy MN, he is wearing whitewashed jean scrubs (boo #1 for him, laugh of the day for me). Yep, you read that right…white wash jean scrubs. Who knew they existed?!? I wanted so badly to take a picture of said MN, but that would have required me sneaking one from his back side as he walked out the door and I thought I would spare all of you the grossness. After my conscience stopped the internal laughter the MN told me I had to put on a small paper robe exposing my back for the tests (boo # 4, 5, & 6) where he would apply (boo #7, 8 & 9) these weird sticker things. SICK!
MN - 1 Babs - 0

So that was my MM. Anyone else have any fun MM tales?
Peace - Babs

TCT's Inaugural Drinking Game Friday!

Happy Friday everyone! I’m stealing a page out of the book from one of the funniest girls I’ve never met – Meg McBlogger of 2Birds1Blog fame. If we were to be trapped on a desert island, we’d want Meg there with us – mainly because she’s funny and likes to drink creatively. Thus, TwoCoastTales’ introduces its first Pilfered Drinking Game Friday! (Please don’t sue us.)

For our inaugural game, I’ve chosen one of my favorite movies of all time, Out Cold starring Jason London and Zach Galifianakis. Little known fact: to the naked eye, this film may seem like your average stoner snowboarding degenerate adventure, but it’s actually based loosely on Casablanca, often touted as one of the best films of this century. Which just goes to show you: there’s so much more to Generation X than meets the eye! Before I can outline the rules of the game, I have to give credit to the individual who introduced me to Out Cold, Andrew C., my college chum. Everything good comes from Andrew, including the Rhonda – also known as “The Tuck” to most males. Every winter at school, classes would inevitably be cancelled for 2 or 3 days due to ice and snow, so Andrew and I would settle in with a bottle of Goldschlagger and a copy of Out Cold to get us through this trying time. We live in different cities now and don’t get to see each other much, which may be for the best, because a 26-year-old standing on top of a cooler at a party with his manhood tucked between his legs singing “Vaagiiiiinaaa boyyyyy!” can only lead either to jail or Chris Hansen. Plus, now that college is over, we’ve been forced to assume responsibilities like jobs, taxes, and random drug screenings, which can put a real damper on our repertoire. However, I know that whenever I get a hankering for a good ol’ snow day, I can always pop Out Cold in the DVD player and reminisce about the senseless overconsumption of cinnamon-flavored liquor. So grab your handwarmers, your Jacuzzi Casanova, and your favorite Alaska mountain resort that sold out to The Man: It’s time for the Out Cold Drinking Game!!!

1.) Take a drink whenever:

• A rip-roaring snowboarding montage is shown
• Anyone says “Bull Mountain – don’t go changin’!”
• The legacy of Papa Muntz is referenced in an inspirational speech
• Lance says something extremely chauvinistic in an effort to mask his blatant homosexuality
• Luke refers to his testicles as the Olson twins, the Hardy boys, dice, etc…
• Anyone refers to Pedro O’Horny’s
• Anyone says “Snow Nook”
• Stumpy says anything

2.) Take a shot whenever:

• Weezer’s “Island in the Sun” is played
• A prank is played (Polar Bear Blow-Job, Drunk-Driver-Black-Out, etc.)
• Anyone hits on Inga
• Luke passes out

3.) Chug whenever:

• Anyone has sex in a gondola

HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND EVERYBODY!